Pasta alla Puttanesca - What Ho!

There're a lot of apocryphal tales of puttanesca sauce having been created by Italian prostitutes, who used the delightful cooking smells of this dish to lure in customers.  While it's a cute, slightly risque story, it's most likely a bunch of hooey, from what I've read - but who really cares, because this sauce is spicy and salty and wonderful.  Whores or no whores, this stuff is good! (there's a phrase I don't get to say very often...)  If your nose isn't running by the time you've finished dinner, you're doing it wrong. 

Pasta alla Puttanesca

1/2 pound pasta
1/8 cup extra virgin olive oil
4 cloves of garlic, minced
1/2 yellow onion, minced
3 anchovy filets, cut into bits (I used anchovy paste, but filets are better)
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 tablespoons capers, well drained
1/3 cup Kalamata olives, sliced
1 14.5-oz can pureed or diced tomatoes

Bring a pot of water to a boil for the pasta.  When the water reaches a boil, pour the olive oil into a big pan with a lid (large enough to accommodate the cooked pasta).  Put the onion, garlic, and anchovies into the cold oil and bring the heat up to medium-high. When it starts sizzling stir it all around.  Garlic can burn quickly, so watch carefully; push the garlic/onion/anchovy mix to one half of the skillet, and in the other half shake in the red pepper flakes to taste and add the tomato paste.  Stir the tomato paste around in its spot for a moment and then stir everything in the skillet all together.  Add the capers and olives and give it a stir, and finally, add the tomatoes.  Bring the sauce to a boil, then cover and lower the heat to low so it simmers. 

Boil the pasta.  While it's cooking, check the sauce and adjust seasoning if needed - add fresh ground black pepper if you like.  Now let it cook with the lid off so it thickens for the remaining time it takes for the pasta to cook.

When the pasta is al dente, drain it and add it to the sauce. Stir well to coat.  Serve with lots of Parmesan cheese!

Lasagna Bolognese

Good lasagna - it's a bit of work, but worth it and will keep you going for days.

 
Lasagna Bolognese
Adapted from Cooks' Illustrated.

For Meat Sauce (Ragù)

1 medium carrot, peeled and roughly chopped
2 medium celery rib, roughly chopped
1 small onion, roughly chopped
4 cloves garlic
1 can (28 ounces) crushed tomatoes
8 ounces ground beef
8 ounces ground pork
8 ounces ground veal
1 1/2 cups milk
1 1/2 cups full-bodied red wine
1 6-ounce can tomato paste
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 tablespoon oregano
1 tablespoon basil

For Béchamel:

4 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup flour
4 cups milk
3/4 teaspoon salt

For Noodles and Cheese:

12 sheets (9 ounces) no-boil lasagna noodles (I use Barilla)
8 ounces Parmesan cheese, grated (2 cups)

For the meat sauce: Process carrot, celery, garlic, and onion in food processor until finely chopped, about ten 1-second pulses, scraping down bowl as necessary.  Heat butter in heavy-bottomed Dutch oven over medium heat until foaming; add the chopped vegetables and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened but not browned, about 4 minutes.  Add ground meats and cook, breaking meat into small pieces with wooden spoon, about 1 minute. Add milk and stir, breaking meat into pieces as small as you can.  Bring to simmer and cook, stirring to break meat into ever-smaller pieces, until almost all liquid has evaporated, 20-30 minutes.  Using potato masher or wooden spoon, break up any remaining clumps of meat (no large pieces should remain).  Add wine and bring to simmer; cook, stirring occasionally, until liquid has evaporated, 20-30 minutes.  Stir in tomato paste until combined, about 1 minute; add tomatoes, salt, pepper, oregano, and basil.  Bring to simmer, then reduce heat to medium-low and cook until sauce is slightly thickened, about 15 minutes. (You should have about 6 cups meat sauce.) Cool meat sauce until just warm to the touch, about 30 minutes.

For the Béchamel: While the meat sauces simmers, melt butter in medium saucepan over medium heat until foaming.  Add flour and cook, whisking constantly, until thoroughly combined, about 1 1/2 minutes (mixture should not brown).  Gradually whisk in milk, increase heat to medium-high and bring to full boil, whisking frequently.  Add salt, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally with heatproof rubber spatula or wooden spoon, making sure to scrape bottom and corners of saucepan. (You should have about 3 1/3 cups. Cool béchamel until just warm to touch, about 30 minutes.

To Assemble and Bake: Adjust oven rack to middle position; heat oven to 425F.  Place noodles in a 13x9-inch baking dish and cover with very hot tap water; soak 5 minutes, agitating noodles occasionally to prevent sticking.  Remove noodles from water, place in single layer on kitchen towel, and pat dry.  Wipe out baking dish. Stir béchamel to recombine; mix 3/4 cup warm béchamel into warm meat sauce until thoroughly combined.

Distribute 1 cup béchamel-enriched meat sauce in baking dish.  Place three noodles in single layer on top of sauce, arranging them close together, but not touching, at center of pan.  Spread 1 1/4 cups meat sauce evenly over noodles, spreading sauce to edge of noodles but not to edge of dish.  Drizzle 1/3 cup béchamel evenly over meat sauce.  Sprinkle 1/3 cup Parmesan even over béchamel.  Repeat layering of noodles, meat sauce, béchamel, and Parmesan cheese 3 more times.  Place final 3 noodles on top and cover completely with remaining béchamel, spreading béchamel with rubber spatula and allowing to spill over noodles.  Sprinkle evenly with remaining Parmesan.

Spray a large sheet of foil with nonstick cooking spray and cover lasagna; bake until bubbling, about 30 minutes.  Remove foil, increase heat to 450F, and continue to bake until surface is spotty brown, about 15 minutes.  Cool 15 minutes; cut into pieces and serve.

Penne Alla Vecchia Bettola

Penne Alla Vecchia Bettola

1/4 cup olive oil
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
3 cloves of garlic, diced or pressed
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 1/2 teaspoons dried oregano
1 cup vodka
1 28-ounce can crushed tomatoes
Salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 pound penne pasta
4 tablespoons fresh oregano
1 cup heavy cream or (to be healthier) fat-free half-and-half
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Heat oven to 375F.

Heat the olive oil in a large Dutch oven over medium heat.  Add the onions and garlic and cook for about 5 minutes until translucent.  Add the red pepper flakes and dried oregano and cook for 1 minute more. Add the vodka and continue cooking until the mixture is reduced by half.  Add tomatoes to pot.  Add 2 teaspoons salt and a pinch of black pepper. Cover the pan with a tight fitting lid and place it in the oven for 1 1/2 hours. Remove the pan from the oven and let it cool for 15 minutes. 

 This is what it'll look like, concentrated down into its essential crispy-edged nomminess.

Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and cook the pasta al dente. Drain and set aside.  Place the tomato mixture in a blender and puree in batches until the sauce is a smooth consistency.  Return to the pan.  Reheat the sauce on low heat, add 2 tablespoons fresh oregano and enough heavy cream to make the sauce a creamy consistency.  

Add salt and pepper to taste, and simmer a few more minutes.  Toss the pasta into the sauce and stir until coated.  Stir in Parmesan cheese. 

Serve with an additional sprinkle of Parmesan and a sprinkle of fresh oregano on each plate.

Adapted from The Amateur Gourmet.

Recipes for the Barely Vertical

Often when looking for something to cook, one doesn't want to lurch an elaborate project into motion, with scores of ingredients and a timetable that looks like it should end in -zoic or -aceous. Sometimes you just want something to make for dinner that night, a weeknight say, when you have more important things to be doing than slaving over a hot stove – like slaving over a hot game system or computer.

It is with this in mind that I've introduced a new label category, “Lazy Fuck Recipes.” We're all lazy fucks at one time or another, me above all.   Now you don't have to feel bad about it.

I will mainly designate something this way if it's easy-peasy to throw together in a brief amount of time.  It was suggested that I should limit the number of ingredients to five or less, but if you're that lazy, go have cereal for dinner and get off my case.  We have to draw the line somewhere.  The very idea!

Just remember: cooking's not all that hard and doesn't have to be a hassle if you prep first and clean as you go.  I'm not the most ambitious or adventurous cook – I know what I like, and want to find the best ways to make what I like so I can spend as little time making things and cleaning up after it, and more time stuffing my face with it.  Maybe you'll be inspired to branch out of the lazy fuck stuff and into some other things.  Or don't; it's OK.  Just cook, whatever you do.

The Big Soup

So it's 90+ degrees F out, and I'm making soup.  I know.  Crazy.

Anyhoo, I usually try to avoid recipes with more ingredients than I have fingers, but I was really craving minestrone, and so here we are.  I think it was worth it:

Minestrone (which means "big soup") is great because it's one of those flexible recipes that allows for adding whatever combination of vegetables you might have on hand.  The tradition of it dates back to Roman times, and it's accommodated the introduction of new foods over time in a way that rustic cooking always does from necessity.  For more interesting background, see here.

Spicy and Hearty Minestrone

1/2 pound dried cannellini beans (about 1 cup), rinsed and picked over*
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 ounces pancetta or bacon, cut into 1/4" pieces
2 medium celery ribs, split down the centre and chopped into 1/2" pieces
1 medium carrot, peeled and cut into 1/2" pieces (about 3/4 cup)
2 small onions, peeled and cut into 1/2" pieces (about 1 1/2 cups)
1 medium zucchini, trimmed and sliced lengthwise, then cut into 1/2" pieces (about 1 cup)
3 garlic cloves, minced or pressed
1/2 small head cabbage, halved, cored, and cut into 1/2" pieces (about 2 cups)
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
8 cups water
2 cups chicken broth
1 piece Parmesan cheese rind, about 5 x 2 inches
2 bay leaves
1 can Hot and Spicy V-8 juice (1 1/2 cups)
1 14.5-ounce can diced tomatoes
1/2 cup chopped fresh basil leaves
ground black pepper
grated Parmesan cheese
2 cups small pasta, ditalini, miniature shells or elbows

Phew!  Enough stuff?

Dissolve 1 1/2 tablespoons salt in 2 quarts water in a large bowl.  Add beans and soak at room temperature between 8-24 hours.  Drain and rinse well.

Heat oil and pancetta or bacon in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat.  Cook, stirring occasionally, until pancetta is lightly browned and fat has rendered, about 5 minutes.  

Add celery, carrot, onions, and zucchini.  Cook, stirring frequently, until vegetables are softened and lightly browned, about 9 minutes.  

Stir in garlic, cabbage, and red pepper flakes; continue to cook until cabbage starts to wilt, 1 to 2 minutes more.  Transfer vegetables to a bowl and set aside.

Add soaked beans, water, broth, Parmesan rind, tomatoes, and bay leaves to now-empty Dutch oven and bring to a boil over high heat.  Reduce heat and simmer, stirring occasionally, until beans are thoroughly tender and liquid has thickened, 45 to 60 minutes.

In the meantime, cook pasta until al dente.  Drain and rinse.

Add reserved vegetables and V-8 juice to pot, cook until vegetables are soft, about 15 minutes.  Discard bay leaves and Parmesan rind, stir in pasta and basil, and season with pepper.  Serve sprinkled generously with Parmesan.

*You can use canned beans if you like - drain and rinse them, and add them at the time when you add the vegetables back in.

37 Servings of Fruit in Every Cookie...

You know what I hate about cookie recipes?  They never make enough.  Thus I have considerately pre-doubled this recipe for you, so you'll have plenty - there's no excuse not to get your daily fibre and fruit.   Or even a fortnights' worth, all in a handful of these guys.  How much fruit can you pack into an oatmeal cookie?  Let's find out.  It defies some law of physics, I know... the same way that ignoring the butter and sugar here makes this a healthy food, right?

Oatmeal and Dried Fruit Cookies

2 sticks butter (1 cup)

1 1/2 cups packed dark brown sugar

2 eggs, beaten

1 teaspoon baking soda, dissolved in 2 tablespoons warm water

1 1/2 cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons vanilla

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon nutmeg

3 cups old-fashioned rolled oats

3 heaping cups chopped dried fruit - use a mix of whatever's on hand.  At various times I've used raisins, cherries, apricots, prunes, papaya, cranberries... anything will work

Heat oven to 375F.  In a large bowl cream butter and brown sugar.  Beat in the egg, baking soda mixture, flour, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla.  Stir in the oats and fruit, combine well.  Drop rounded spoonfuls on a prepared cookie sheet (greased or lined with parchment paper or Silpat).  Bake 8-10 minutes.  If you bake two trays at a time, rotate the sheets midway through baking.  Transfer to racks with a spatula, cool.  Keep in an airtight container, though they won't last long enough to go stale.

Choc-a-blog

Recently we visited Columbia State Historic Park.  It's an amazing place that has much to recommend it for a visit, but the best part of all (to weak-willed me, anyhow) are the two sweet shops.  The rich smell of good chocolate... the nostalgia of old-fashioned candies... we couldn't help but get a few things.

Nelson's Columbia Candy Kitchen

I regret not trying these (and will, next time!):

The fruit jellies were magnificent and bursting with flavour.  YUM.

Hard at work chocolate-dipping by hand.

Peanut brittle setting in the candy kitchen.

Brown's Coffee House and Sweets Saloon